Trains!

Trains, trains, trains! How to describe an Indian train...let's start with the boarding which was hectic to be sure as we weren't entirely sure which was the train was coming from and thus, which end to be standing at. Our train was scheduled to arrive at 6:14...it finally actually arrived at almost 7:45. We were lucky in that we met a few tourists also going on our train to Kerala who were able to provide some insight about our train; that it would be around 15 hours long, that the train itself had been travelling for over 48 hours meaning it wouldn't necessarily be very clean, that it was not advisable to eat the food on the train (provided by a man wandering the corridors yelling 'kana! kana!' (food! food!)), which led us to stock up on a wide variety of incredibly unhealthy food options.

Despite our best efforts, we were all spread out a little bit, but within a 10 yard range or so, simply in seperate berths. I wound up with three very nice men; the first was an assemblyman/minister who had recently been unseated in the election by someone of a different party. The other two were dancers, who taught coreaugraphy and were currently organizing a dance competition in Mangalore (think 'So You Think You Can Dance'-esque). I had a very nice conversation with them before falling into an incredibly fitful and unrestful sleep. As an overestimate, I'd assume I slep 5 hours last night...not pretty. The reeking smell of urine that permeates everything in this train, coupled with my dislike of sleeping on pillows/with blankets that I can't guarantee are clean makes for a very tiring night.

What else can I tell you about the train? It's just starting to get light so we can finally see what were passing; currently, it looks incredibly tropical, and I'd assume we're passing rice fields although I can't be sure. A man runs down the corridor yelling 'chai! chai!' (tea! tea!) every few minutes but to be honest, the tea does not look at all appetizing. Much of our car is still asleep (a miracle if you ask me) so I'm just sitting in somewhat silence on what i think is a fairly dirty mattress, looking out of a definitively dirty window. Ah, such is life.

I had an interesting conversation with the men in my berth last night that is along the lines of something I've said before on my blog I believe but think I should reiterate. Many people have asked me how I've liked India, or if they should come and visit. And the truth is that I can't answer the question of if someone else should come to India. Primarily because, I believe, India is what you make of it and what you want it to be, like life. Its definitely possible to come here and NOT see the kindness of the people, to NOT see how diligent and hardworking they are and to NOT see the beauty of the country itself. If your attitude in coming is predisposed to not liking it, then you certainly will not like it. And I think that's the way much of life is- if you're not looking for the good, you won't find it. You have to WANT life to be good, you have to LOOK for that good to see it in others and in the world around you. Because there is bad anywhere in the world, and I don't question that for a moment. But there's good too and the key is to allow the good to overpower the bad for you.

But anyways, enough of my rant. Back to Mumbai! I believe I left off on the 20th after we had dinner with Ajay and his wife, which was absolutely fabulous. Afterwards, we went back to the hotel where we encountered a parade complete with a groom riding a very decorated horse, in the street eventually leading into our hotel. We watched for

 awhile and then Claudia and I decided we wanted to go. Unfortunately, we were unable to tie our saris and couldn't find anyone to help us, so we didn't go, but Alex, who's outfit was MUCH simpler to put on than a sari, did go down and wedding crash. He said it was absolutely fine (no surprise, as Indian weddings are a completely different beast from American weddings) and that nobody minded his being there, even when he told them the truth.

On the 21st, Claudia and I had breakfast early, then went for a walk on the beach followed by a  swim :) Of course, we looked overly scandalous in our American bathing suits but we ignored that and persevered. After lounging for a bit, we set out on what turned out to be quite the adventure to get to Worli Sea Face (an area of town which we'd never been to) to meet up with the Chen family to join them for mehindi (what we know as henna in the US). Not knowing how far away it was and intoxicated with the idea of taking a rickshaw, we got in a rickshaw and handed him the address of where we were supposed to meet the Chens. After what we believe was him driving us around in circles for about half an hour, he pulled over to a very random (and somewhat sketchy, despite how crowded it was) area of town and demanded that we pay him. We paid him and left the rickshaw utterly confused. We decided to try again, and tried to hail a taxi but after ten minutes and few taxis, we gave up and took a rickshaw again. This time, the driver explained the issue to us (although we were already moving at this point)-- rickshaws aren't allowed in South Mumbai (SoBo), but he offered to take us to the nearest taxi station. So he did and we got in a taxi who had no idea where the hotel was, so he took us to Worli and then pulled over to ask directions...about five times. Quite the ordeal really. And at first, it would have been very possible to be frustrated or pissed, especially at the first guy who ripped us off, but in India you have to realize that people are just trying to make some extra money any way possible and its hard to blame them for trying to earn an extra 40 rupees. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it and accept that you got a little extra sightseeing of the city, or the country, and acknowledge that they're working hard to try to provide for their families and there's no reason to try and underpay them. However, if you're being completely obviously ripped off, like the rickshaw driver our last night who tried to tell us that we owed him 100 Rs for a ride that should have been 10 Rs, it makes sense to argue about it.

We hung out with the Chens at their hotel until about 7.30, which was nice for me because I was able to catch up on all things Amuricaa! Unfortunately, the girl doing mehindi was taking too long, so Claudia and I weren't able to get it as we had to go to dinner with Ajay. Ajay and his wife had very kindly invited us to join them for dinner at their home...a properly homecooked meal the likes of which we hadn't seen in quite awhile. Claudia and I left at around 7.30 which we knew was pushing it a little bit to be back by 8. Unfortunately, we didn't just push it, we were outright late. The first cab we got in (keep in mind we were in a fairly remote/nontouristy area of the city at night) tried to overcharge us to get back to the hotel so we got out and said no thank you. We wandered around, trying to find the main street for about fifteen minutes until we found another cab (finally!). However, after about 200 yards, that cab ran out of gas and told us wed have to wait an hour for him to get gas. We told him to thank you as well, and walked down the street again. Now, it was getting plain dark, I really needed to pee, and there were only men walking around this rather sketchy area (keep in mind, in India, after dark, it's usualy only men who walk around). FINALLY, we found a cab that managed to get us all the way home, but we didnt get back to the hotel until around 8.40, and we didn't meet the Bablas at their home until almost 9 (an hour after our arranged time). Luckily, they were very forgiving and told us we were obviusly adjusting well to IST (Indian Standard Time), which requires you to add an extra hour onto any arranged time. After dinner, we went out for local ice cream (I got an Indian flavor which I cannot remember the name of) and then they dropped us off. Again, Alex spent the night crashing a wedding at our hotel.

The next day was the wedding. It was a fairly lowkey wedding as Indian weddings go, primarily because the bride was American and as a result, her entire family/every person she's ever known wasn't at the wedding. The ceremony itself still tok upwards of 5 hours. Indian weddings are incredibly casual, with people getting up and walking around during the ceremony, grabbing food and snacks, chatting away. True to form, Alex managed to somehow become an actual part of the wedding ceremony...we believe he was mistook for a sibling of Liz's (Elizabeth Chen's aunt) but he certainly stepped in for the role of brother while Barbara and Guang Chen stepped in as Liz's parents. It was a beautiful ceremony, very well done and the decor was gorgeous. After the wedding, we tried to go to the World Trade Center which we'd been told had some nice shopping but which really, in our opinion, ended up just being sketchy. Additionally, we fell asleep in the cab (yes, all of us) and we're fairly sure the driver went around in circles. Can't blame him. Later, Liz came over to our hotel (after we sat in an hour and a half straight of horrific traffic) and we hung out and were honestly all too exhausted to go out at night. Alas!

The next day, we had arranged to hang out in the early afternoon with the Chens by the pool. However, in considering our flight and timing for the next day, we all grew anxious that our slum tour (scheduled for Thursday the 24th) would make us late for our flight, something we weren't willing to miss. Luckily, we called the company, Reality Tours, and they had space on their afternoon tour so we were able to join in on that. First of all, anyone traveling to Mumbai MUST, MUST, MUST do this tour. It's led by locals who recycle the profits back into the slum in the form of a kindergarten and community center where they teach English and computer skills. The tour is about $10 and incredibly eye opening. It goes through Dharavi, which is the largest slum in Asia and where 'Slumdog Millionaire', the Oscar-winning movie, was placed.

Before going, when I thought of a slum, I thought of people living in small huts, using god knows what to bathe and having absolutely no money. That is not the case today; there are doctors and lawyers, teachers and other professionals living in the slum...the key is that they CHOOSE to stay there because that's where their community is. I think in the US, that is something we forget; that community can overcome discomfort and that being with those who matter to you and support you, is far more rewarding than living in a huge house far away from neighbors you've never met. And the truth is that they do have basic appliances (stove, microwave, TV, etc). That being said, when we went inside an actual house, it was shockingly small. I would apprximate that the actual LIVING space (sleeping etc) was about 3.5 yardsx 4 yards, give or take a little bit. Incredibly tiny really for a family to be living in. And yet they do. And, as I said before, many choose to live in the slum. That being said, plenty would likely prefer not to live there. One bathroom is used by 1500 people daily, so you can IMAGINE how disgusting it is. Frequently, women choose to just go outside than to go into the disgusting bathrooms. So it's not an ideal situation and it certainly makes you grateful for what you have. I'm grateful for the fact that I have a room all to myself at home, with a bed that is comfortable, with space in my room to do things. I cannot imagine studying and preparing for school in a room that small and I can only imagine how difficult it must be on children who have to do that.

Really, I'd say that Mumbai taught us not to believe expectations. It was th first part of our solo journey, without adults, and I think part of it was proving to ourselves that we could do it. I have certainly learned that to a certain extent I am a control freak and I feel far more comfortable in charge because then I know that I'm not missing any details and that everything is acounted for. Whether or not this is a positive attribute is quite debatable I'd say. But slowly, I'm learning. I'm learning to let go of control and simply trust. I'm learning to not try and control thers and their actions and to let them learn their own mistakes. I'm learning to hold back my opinion until someone asks for it. And most of all, I'm learning to learn and to be patient and wait for things to happen instead of trying to force them to happen.

India is many things, and I truly believe, it will be whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be a nasty, dirty place full of evil people, it will be just that. If you want it to be a beautiful country with untrustworthy people who will try to rip you off at every corner, it will be just that. But for me, it's a beautiful country, full of honest people who may try to make a little extra money off of you because you're a tourist in their country with considerably more mony than them. And personally, I think there's nothing wrong with that. There are times when I want to overcharge tourists in San Diego simply because it's my home and I don't feel like sharing.

So, if you come to India at any point in your life, be aware of what you want when you come. Because, as in life, if you're looking for the bad or the negative, you'll find it. But if you're looking for the good and the beautiful, you'll find that as well :)

Much love, as always,

Sara