Yet again, I find myself apologizing for going so long without posting. I really don't have any excuse whatsoever aside from laziness. So without much further ado...
Last time I posted, we had just arrived in Kalimpong, where we stayed until the 1st of November. On the way to Kalimpong, we went lazy rafting, down the Teesta river...nothing too exciting as the scariest rapid we encountered MIGHT have been rated as a class I rapid. In Kalimpong, we were able to get a taste (albeit a bi diluted) of Diwali which essentially consisted of nonstop fireworks for three days. Fireworks that are entirely illegal in the States are easily available here for about Rs. 40. Kids crowd the street, lighting up the sky with beauiful fireworks. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes, and it's truly a magical feeling to see the smiles of the kids light up from the fireworks.
On our way home from visiting Anu and Rajiv's land and meeting some friends of theirs (side story that illustrates what I love most about India- apparently, these are people that Anu has only met once, but we decided to stop by and say hi on our way through and the mother insisted we come inside, made us a full meal (despite our protestations that we'd already eaten) and hosted us for almost two hours), Alex, Stephen and I picked up a few fireworks. As we were walking back after lighting off a few of them, we ran into a group of kids who were playing in the street with some firecrackers and various other lightables. After a few minutes, we ended up sharing some of our remaining fireworks with them; again, I was reminded to the beautiful innocence of young children, for whom a firework can bring such simple joy.
The other highlight of our time in Kalimpong was at a party that we went to. The best description I can give is that it is akin to the types of parties you see at the end of a week of family camp, where everyone gets up to show off a different act at the talent show and it all lasts forever. We had a great time meeting up with various people at the party and interacting; unfortunately, but not necessarily surprisingly, we, and our white skin and blue passports, made us quite the attraction for the night.
After that, on October 1st, we headed out to Makabari Tea Gardens for a homestay. Makabari is apparently world reknowned as the best tea in the world; they currently hold the world record for the most expensive tea ever sold and are an entirely organic farm. Honestly, anyone considering a trip to this area of India (north eastern) should DEFINITELY spend some time there, as there is a lot to learn from the families you'll stay with, the attitude of the village and the management of the gardens themselves. The tea gardens are an entirely organic operation, with focus on supporting the community around them. Additionally, they were an organic operation before it became 'cool' to be organic, and helped to define what an organic tea farm means for many international organizations.
Rebecca and I stayed with a lovely family in their home. It was a simple home, with a seperate kitchen and bathroom and I believe about 3 bedrooms. Unlike homes in the US or really almost anywhere else, the various parts of the house are not all under one roof, instead they're somewhat spread over a small area. Their daughter, Dipika, is twenty two and pursuing her masters in history right now at a college outside of Darjeeling. The father is a forest officer in Siliguri, and the mother works at the pharmacy for the tea gardens. I have only highly positive things to say abou them as they were incredibly welcoming and kind to Rebecca and myself. They were what would be described as lower middle class, I believe, and although they lived comfortably (the room was fully equipped, food was readily available and they had quite a few 'extras' such as TVs), it was clear that they were not exceedingly well off. Something we've learned to be very careful of in India is that people here will often give far beyond their means in a desperate desire to give as muh as possible, and frequently its up to you to draw the line and to refuse them. Frequently, this takes the form of refusing thirds on food because, quite simply, you're not sure if they're giving you all the food that they have and if they'll go somewhat hungry if you eat completly.
Additionally, living with them for four days made me realize something that I was already coming to realize; how unnecessary so many things (yes, material items) are. I am very fortunate in that I've never been in need of anything- I have plenty of clothes, food and 'extras'- and you don't realize how unnecessary it all can be. It's not so much that I plan on throwing away all of my earthly posessions when I return home, but more that buying additional isn't necessary. At this point, I've shipped the large majority of stuff I brought to India with me back to Delhi, and am officially completing the rest of the trip with one pair of jeans, one pair of yoga pants, one pair of loose pants, 5 tank tops, 2 long sleeves and 1 jacket, quite simply because I don't need all the other clothes. More importantly, it reiterated the idea that its not the material objects that matter in life, but the people that you have close to you and your family.
While at the tea gardens, we did a tour of the factory (very nice) and the gardens (also very nice) and interacted with quite a few of the workers who are truly incredible. They have started a lot of community projects based on the revenue that they make from the homestays (yes the whole $25/night per house stay goes straight back into the community) and the sale of tea in their shops. They are an incredibly energetic and vibrant community.
Also, Rajiv knows the owner of the tea gardens, Rajah, fairly well. We were able to do a tea tasting and tour with him which was INCREDIBLY interesting and very informative. He educated us about the importance of supporting women in the community as they are the root of change within a community (we all know this to be true) and the importance of organic farming. Later, we joined Rajah and his wife in their beautiful home to celebrate Rajiv's birthday. I had a very interesting conversation with Rajah's wife about her life and about various aspects of Indian culture. Her marriage was an arranged marriage and one of her sons asked her to find him an arranged marriage after becoming frustrated with dating and all that entails.
In the West, we have an incredibly taboo view of arranged marriage that I don't think is really fair at all. I've seen quite a few arranged marriages that have worked out incredibly well and I think the key is that they start with few expectations; in a marriage of love, when something goes wrong, people tend to blame each other, or eventually simply fall out of love and feel that their marriage isn't worth holding together without love. In an arranged marriage (and to be fair, I'm speaking in hypotheticals as I've never been in an arranged marriage...obviously), I think that the couple starts as strangers and, instead of being torn apart by something going wrong, tend to grow closer as their marriage progresses because they began with few expectations for it. And most importantly, in current Indian culture (in MOST places), it's no longer something that confines women as they usually have an option to back out of it or to say no.
All in all, we had an incredible visit to the tea gardens. After three nighs there, we left for Darjeeling, where we spent two days. Good lord, it was FREEZING cold. Which brings up another unfortuante situation- earlier I mentioned that I had shipped the majority of my stuff back to Delhi...that included all of my cold weather clothing, so I will be spending the next 8 days freezing my little butt off as this part of the world seems somewhat unaware of the wonders of insulation and central heating...eek. Anyways, Darjeeling was incredible and I only wish that we'd had more time to spend there and explore. It also didn't help that on our one exploration day I was sick again (seriously again?!) with another stomach bug that left me stuck in bed for most of the morning, so I missed out on seeing Rajiv's boarding school (which I was very excited about seeing actually) and seeing a little more of the town. But it was really beautiful. And now we are back in Kalimpong before we head to Bhutan for 8 days, then Kathmandu for a few days and then Alex, Claudia and I will begin our South Indian adventures!
As we were leaving Makabari, Rajah looked at each of us individually and asked us if we were hppy. There was a range in everyone's answers, but when it was my turn, I said with my California sunshiney smile, and a true heart, "Yes, always." Everyone laughed and Rajah said, "Oh always? That must be nice."
But the truth is, that I am always happy. Sure, I have moments of frustration and sometimes saddness, but who doesn't? And truly, those make the happier moments those much sweeter. And perhaps this will all be incredibly naive-sounding, but I am incredibly lucky because I think I am always happy and optimistic. Because, most importantly, I'm happy with my life and the person that I am and if you're happy with those two things, then nothing can really bother you for too long. I have an incredible family; parents who are my best friends and who have supported me in every major decision I've made thus far in life and who have allowed me to explore myself and the world to the fullest extent; brothers who I love more than I can express and who I trust and depend on; a boyfriend who asks no more than that I simply be myself and who trusts and loves me unconditionallly. I am blessed with grandparents, alive and dead, who are responsible for helping me to achieve so much that I have and who have supported me in the pursuit of all my dreams; aunts and uncles who love me and upon whom I know I can depend on for anthing; cousins who make a Skype call before a wedding a priority, who take the time to leave me loving notes on my Facebook. And friends. It's a running joke here that I refer to everyone as my best friend. But the truth is, that all of my friends mean that much to me that they cannot simply be a friend becaus they mean so much more to me and have influenced me so much more. I am blessed to have friends that give themselves to me fully and who know me better than I know myself.
So yes, it is nice to always be happy. Knock on wood that I'm not jinxing myself with this post and that some horrific calamity doesn't strike soon that makes me lose my belief in the goodness of people and life, but even if I am, in some ways I'm okay with that because being so in love with life and the goodness of the world is worth it, even for a minute.
Love always,
Sara
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