Trains!

Trains, trains, trains! How to describe an Indian train...let's start with the boarding which was hectic to be sure as we weren't entirely sure which was the train was coming from and thus, which end to be standing at. Our train was scheduled to arrive at 6:14...it finally actually arrived at almost 7:45. We were lucky in that we met a few tourists also going on our train to Kerala who were able to provide some insight about our train; that it would be around 15 hours long, that the train itself had been travelling for over 48 hours meaning it wouldn't necessarily be very clean, that it was not advisable to eat the food on the train (provided by a man wandering the corridors yelling 'kana! kana!' (food! food!)), which led us to stock up on a wide variety of incredibly unhealthy food options.

Despite our best efforts, we were all spread out a little bit, but within a 10 yard range or so, simply in seperate berths. I wound up with three very nice men; the first was an assemblyman/minister who had recently been unseated in the election by someone of a different party. The other two were dancers, who taught coreaugraphy and were currently organizing a dance competition in Mangalore (think 'So You Think You Can Dance'-esque). I had a very nice conversation with them before falling into an incredibly fitful and unrestful sleep. As an overestimate, I'd assume I slep 5 hours last night...not pretty. The reeking smell of urine that permeates everything in this train, coupled with my dislike of sleeping on pillows/with blankets that I can't guarantee are clean makes for a very tiring night.

What else can I tell you about the train? It's just starting to get light so we can finally see what were passing; currently, it looks incredibly tropical, and I'd assume we're passing rice fields although I can't be sure. A man runs down the corridor yelling 'chai! chai!' (tea! tea!) every few minutes but to be honest, the tea does not look at all appetizing. Much of our car is still asleep (a miracle if you ask me) so I'm just sitting in somewhat silence on what i think is a fairly dirty mattress, looking out of a definitively dirty window. Ah, such is life.

I had an interesting conversation with the men in my berth last night that is along the lines of something I've said before on my blog I believe but think I should reiterate. Many people have asked me how I've liked India, or if they should come and visit. And the truth is that I can't answer the question of if someone else should come to India. Primarily because, I believe, India is what you make of it and what you want it to be, like life. Its definitely possible to come here and NOT see the kindness of the people, to NOT see how diligent and hardworking they are and to NOT see the beauty of the country itself. If your attitude in coming is predisposed to not liking it, then you certainly will not like it. And I think that's the way much of life is- if you're not looking for the good, you won't find it. You have to WANT life to be good, you have to LOOK for that good to see it in others and in the world around you. Because there is bad anywhere in the world, and I don't question that for a moment. But there's good too and the key is to allow the good to overpower the bad for you.

But anyways, enough of my rant. Back to Mumbai! I believe I left off on the 20th after we had dinner with Ajay and his wife, which was absolutely fabulous. Afterwards, we went back to the hotel where we encountered a parade complete with a groom riding a very decorated horse, in the street eventually leading into our hotel. We watched for

 awhile and then Claudia and I decided we wanted to go. Unfortunately, we were unable to tie our saris and couldn't find anyone to help us, so we didn't go, but Alex, who's outfit was MUCH simpler to put on than a sari, did go down and wedding crash. He said it was absolutely fine (no surprise, as Indian weddings are a completely different beast from American weddings) and that nobody minded his being there, even when he told them the truth.

On the 21st, Claudia and I had breakfast early, then went for a walk on the beach followed by a  swim :) Of course, we looked overly scandalous in our American bathing suits but we ignored that and persevered. After lounging for a bit, we set out on what turned out to be quite the adventure to get to Worli Sea Face (an area of town which we'd never been to) to meet up with the Chen family to join them for mehindi (what we know as henna in the US). Not knowing how far away it was and intoxicated with the idea of taking a rickshaw, we got in a rickshaw and handed him the address of where we were supposed to meet the Chens. After what we believe was him driving us around in circles for about half an hour, he pulled over to a very random (and somewhat sketchy, despite how crowded it was) area of town and demanded that we pay him. We paid him and left the rickshaw utterly confused. We decided to try again, and tried to hail a taxi but after ten minutes and few taxis, we gave up and took a rickshaw again. This time, the driver explained the issue to us (although we were already moving at this point)-- rickshaws aren't allowed in South Mumbai (SoBo), but he offered to take us to the nearest taxi station. So he did and we got in a taxi who had no idea where the hotel was, so he took us to Worli and then pulled over to ask directions...about five times. Quite the ordeal really. And at first, it would have been very possible to be frustrated or pissed, especially at the first guy who ripped us off, but in India you have to realize that people are just trying to make some extra money any way possible and its hard to blame them for trying to earn an extra 40 rupees. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it and accept that you got a little extra sightseeing of the city, or the country, and acknowledge that they're working hard to try to provide for their families and there's no reason to try and underpay them. However, if you're being completely obviously ripped off, like the rickshaw driver our last night who tried to tell us that we owed him 100 Rs for a ride that should have been 10 Rs, it makes sense to argue about it.

We hung out with the Chens at their hotel until about 7.30, which was nice for me because I was able to catch up on all things Amuricaa! Unfortunately, the girl doing mehindi was taking too long, so Claudia and I weren't able to get it as we had to go to dinner with Ajay. Ajay and his wife had very kindly invited us to join them for dinner at their home...a properly homecooked meal the likes of which we hadn't seen in quite awhile. Claudia and I left at around 7.30 which we knew was pushing it a little bit to be back by 8. Unfortunately, we didn't just push it, we were outright late. The first cab we got in (keep in mind we were in a fairly remote/nontouristy area of the city at night) tried to overcharge us to get back to the hotel so we got out and said no thank you. We wandered around, trying to find the main street for about fifteen minutes until we found another cab (finally!). However, after about 200 yards, that cab ran out of gas and told us wed have to wait an hour for him to get gas. We told him to thank you as well, and walked down the street again. Now, it was getting plain dark, I really needed to pee, and there were only men walking around this rather sketchy area (keep in mind, in India, after dark, it's usualy only men who walk around). FINALLY, we found a cab that managed to get us all the way home, but we didnt get back to the hotel until around 8.40, and we didn't meet the Bablas at their home until almost 9 (an hour after our arranged time). Luckily, they were very forgiving and told us we were obviusly adjusting well to IST (Indian Standard Time), which requires you to add an extra hour onto any arranged time. After dinner, we went out for local ice cream (I got an Indian flavor which I cannot remember the name of) and then they dropped us off. Again, Alex spent the night crashing a wedding at our hotel.

The next day was the wedding. It was a fairly lowkey wedding as Indian weddings go, primarily because the bride was American and as a result, her entire family/every person she's ever known wasn't at the wedding. The ceremony itself still tok upwards of 5 hours. Indian weddings are incredibly casual, with people getting up and walking around during the ceremony, grabbing food and snacks, chatting away. True to form, Alex managed to somehow become an actual part of the wedding ceremony...we believe he was mistook for a sibling of Liz's (Elizabeth Chen's aunt) but he certainly stepped in for the role of brother while Barbara and Guang Chen stepped in as Liz's parents. It was a beautiful ceremony, very well done and the decor was gorgeous. After the wedding, we tried to go to the World Trade Center which we'd been told had some nice shopping but which really, in our opinion, ended up just being sketchy. Additionally, we fell asleep in the cab (yes, all of us) and we're fairly sure the driver went around in circles. Can't blame him. Later, Liz came over to our hotel (after we sat in an hour and a half straight of horrific traffic) and we hung out and were honestly all too exhausted to go out at night. Alas!

The next day, we had arranged to hang out in the early afternoon with the Chens by the pool. However, in considering our flight and timing for the next day, we all grew anxious that our slum tour (scheduled for Thursday the 24th) would make us late for our flight, something we weren't willing to miss. Luckily, we called the company, Reality Tours, and they had space on their afternoon tour so we were able to join in on that. First of all, anyone traveling to Mumbai MUST, MUST, MUST do this tour. It's led by locals who recycle the profits back into the slum in the form of a kindergarten and community center where they teach English and computer skills. The tour is about $10 and incredibly eye opening. It goes through Dharavi, which is the largest slum in Asia and where 'Slumdog Millionaire', the Oscar-winning movie, was placed.

Before going, when I thought of a slum, I thought of people living in small huts, using god knows what to bathe and having absolutely no money. That is not the case today; there are doctors and lawyers, teachers and other professionals living in the slum...the key is that they CHOOSE to stay there because that's where their community is. I think in the US, that is something we forget; that community can overcome discomfort and that being with those who matter to you and support you, is far more rewarding than living in a huge house far away from neighbors you've never met. And the truth is that they do have basic appliances (stove, microwave, TV, etc). That being said, when we went inside an actual house, it was shockingly small. I would apprximate that the actual LIVING space (sleeping etc) was about 3.5 yardsx 4 yards, give or take a little bit. Incredibly tiny really for a family to be living in. And yet they do. And, as I said before, many choose to live in the slum. That being said, plenty would likely prefer not to live there. One bathroom is used by 1500 people daily, so you can IMAGINE how disgusting it is. Frequently, women choose to just go outside than to go into the disgusting bathrooms. So it's not an ideal situation and it certainly makes you grateful for what you have. I'm grateful for the fact that I have a room all to myself at home, with a bed that is comfortable, with space in my room to do things. I cannot imagine studying and preparing for school in a room that small and I can only imagine how difficult it must be on children who have to do that.

Really, I'd say that Mumbai taught us not to believe expectations. It was th first part of our solo journey, without adults, and I think part of it was proving to ourselves that we could do it. I have certainly learned that to a certain extent I am a control freak and I feel far more comfortable in charge because then I know that I'm not missing any details and that everything is acounted for. Whether or not this is a positive attribute is quite debatable I'd say. But slowly, I'm learning. I'm learning to let go of control and simply trust. I'm learning to not try and control thers and their actions and to let them learn their own mistakes. I'm learning to hold back my opinion until someone asks for it. And most of all, I'm learning to learn and to be patient and wait for things to happen instead of trying to force them to happen.

India is many things, and I truly believe, it will be whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be a nasty, dirty place full of evil people, it will be just that. If you want it to be a beautiful country with untrustworthy people who will try to rip you off at every corner, it will be just that. But for me, it's a beautiful country, full of honest people who may try to make a little extra money off of you because you're a tourist in their country with considerably more mony than them. And personally, I think there's nothing wrong with that. There are times when I want to overcharge tourists in San Diego simply because it's my home and I don't feel like sharing.

So, if you come to India at any point in your life, be aware of what you want when you come. Because, as in life, if you're looking for the bad or the negative, you'll find it. But if you're looking for the good and the beautiful, you'll find that as well :)

Much love, as always,

Sara

Lounging on the Beach

ALLLRIGHT, I really have absolutely no excuse for not keeping this up to date. I'm obviously not the blogging type. Oh well.

At the moment, Im sitting at our hotel in Goa, which is absolutely beautiful and quaint, with huge welt-like bug bites covering my feet...lovely. This blog post will go backwards I think which will make it easier for me to give as much detail as possible on what's been going on.

Currently, we are checked out of our hotel and awaiting our taxi which should arrive in the next half hour to take us to the train station at Thivim, where we will being our 13 hr. train ride to Erankulam (Kerala). We'll do an overnight on a houseboat, and then two night homestay. After that, we have a 10hr train ride to Chennai where we'll be for 5 nights, before returning to Delhi and then...drumroll please...HOME! :) So I will be in the U. S. of A hopefully by the evening of Dec. 6th :)

So Goa...unfortunately, as following with much of my experience in India, Goa has not been at all what I expected. We're staying at Grandpa's Inn, a beautifuly cute little hotel with a very nice pool and a nice staff, located near Anjuna Beach, one of the most well known beaches in Northern Goa. Anjuna is known as the "freak capital of the world" (don't believe me? Google 'freak capital of the world' and Anjuna Beach, Goa will come up). Naturally, I was expecting a beach full of "hippies" or generally, just funky people doing funky things. I was told that we would be offered drugs left, right, and center (obviously, the primary reason I wanted to come to Goa...), and that there were crazy parties every night all over. In our two nights here (and to be fair, we only went out one night), we really didn't see any partying, and were only offered drugs once and it really seemed like he was just offering as a joke or because he had to, without any real interest.

Goa is absolutely gorgeous, lush and tropical; it's hot and muggy, but the beach is beautiful (aside from constantly being hassled by people trying to hawk their wares) and the water is warm. There are thirty plus restaurants along a strip of beach approximately 500 yards long or so. The restarants go straight up to the water; while at dinner, with the tide coming in yesterday, one of the tables was swept away so Alex jumped in the water (he was wearing shorts underneath his pants) to save it. There is fantastic seafood in Goa (as it's right on the water) and it's all relatively cheap compared to Gangtok or even Mumbai. The people all seem to be incredibly kind and its a very laid back community from what we've been able to tell in our two days here. To get around, we rented mopeds and we really must have been quite a sight in them. As many of you know, I'm not necessarily the best at operating mechanical vehicles, but as Claudia wasn't keen on learning to drive one (by the way, far more difficult than it looks, especially in India where there are no road signs, you drive on the left side of the road and people just generally do whatever they feel like), so I decided to try my hand at it. After running it straight into a wall, I finally got the hang of it and was zooming along like a pro :) I even mastered having Claudia on the back of the moped with me!

After hanging at the beach for a little, we went out for lunch in town and then just drove around on our mopeds for awhile to see the surrounding area. Finally, we came back to the hotel, where we all settled down for a mellow afternoon. Around 4 or so, the power went out (not a strange occurance in India) and we were in darkness until sometime late into the night when I woke up freezing because our AC had finally kicked in :) As Anu's cousin told us in Kalimpong on that first visit, power outages and lack of food listed on menus is how you know you're in a third world country. We decided to go and get some food so we moped'd into town where we had DELICIOUS tandoori kebabs and biryani (a local dish I believe), and then we went back to the beach to see if there were any parties (there were not) and came back to the room around 10 and then went for a quick night swim before bed :)

We had come to Goa on the 24th, after having been in Mumbai since the 19th. Mumbai also was not at all like expectations- we'd been told it was dangerous, that people would constantly try to rip us off, that it was a huge mess of people. Personally, I found none of these things to be particularly true. I do however think that if Mumbai had been the first place in India we had come and spent time in, I would have been incredibly overwhelmed. It is a lot of people, but its location on the beach gives it that 'chill' aspect that you see in people who live near the coast anywhere in my opinion. I also hadn't realized how important being near the ocean is for me until I was back in Mumbai...I felt a weight lift off my chest as I breathed easier near the ocean and felt more at ease. I guess I'll alway be a California kid!

On the first night we saw firsthand the disparity in wealth that Mumbai is also famous for. Our hotel, the Sea Princess (kindly set up by the incredible Ajay Babla, Meghan Babla's uncle in Mumbai who hosted us and truly made us feel welcome in the city), has a club attached that is apparently a major hot spot for rich kids and stars to party. And then we were talking to the staff at the hotel who told us that they lived in villages outside of town and commuted massively to get to work each day. It was honestly somewhat incredible to see this wealth discrepancy so obvious in front of us.

The 20th we were delighted by the incredible deluxe breakfast at the hotel. After breakfast, we went down to Colaba (the tourist area) and got our tourist on in Colaba, the highlight being going to Leopold's for lunch (Shantaram anyone?!) where we spent the entire time looking for anyone that we were convinced COULD be Gregory David Roberts. Then we wandered around Chowpatty beach until a little before sunset, when we went to have lunch with Ajay and his wife.

AHK! Our car is here to take us to the train station. I promise to compose another blog post while on the 13 hour train ride that will highlight the pieces of the trip I'm still missing!

But for the record, safe and sound and loving India still :) Can't wait to see everyone when I get home though!!

Love always,

Sara

Happiness in the Small Things

Yet again, I find myself apologizing for going so long without posting. I really don't have any excuse whatsoever aside from laziness. So without much further ado...

Last time I posted, we had just arrived in Kalimpong, where we stayed until the 1st of November. On the way to Kalimpong, we went lazy rafting, down the Teesta river...nothing too exciting as the scariest rapid we encountered MIGHT have been rated as a class I rapid. In Kalimpong, we were able to get a taste (albeit a bi diluted) of Diwali which essentially consisted of nonstop fireworks for three days. Fireworks that are entirely illegal in the States are easily available here for about Rs. 40. Kids crowd the street, lighting up the sky with beauiful fireworks. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes, and it's truly a magical feeling to see the smiles of the kids light up from the fireworks.

On our way home from visiting Anu and Rajiv's land and meeting some friends of theirs (side story that illustrates what I love most about India- apparently, these are people that Anu has only met once, but we decided to stop by and say hi on our way through and the mother insisted we come inside, made us a full meal (despite our protestations that we'd already eaten) and hosted us for almost two hours), Alex, Stephen and I picked up a few fireworks. As we were walking back after lighting off a few of them, we ran into a group of kids who were playing in the street with some firecrackers and various other lightables. After a few minutes, we ended up sharing some of our remaining fireworks with them; again, I was reminded to the beautiful innocence of young children, for whom a firework can bring such simple joy.

The other highlight of our time in Kalimpong was at a party that we went to. The best description I can give is that it is akin to the types of parties you see at the end of a week of family camp, where everyone gets up to show off a different act at the talent show and it all lasts forever. We had a great time meeting up with various people at the party and interacting; unfortunately, but not necessarily surprisingly, we, and our white skin and blue passports, made us quite the attraction for the night.

After that, on October 1st, we headed out to Makabari Tea Gardens for a homestay. Makabari is apparently world reknowned as the best tea in the world; they currently hold the world record for the most expensive tea ever sold and are an entirely organic farm. Honestly, anyone considering a trip to this area of India (north eastern) should DEFINITELY spend some time there, as there is a lot to learn from the families you'll stay with, the attitude of the village and the management of the gardens themselves. The tea gardens are an entirely organic operation, with focus on supporting the community around them. Additionally, they were an organic operation before it became 'cool' to be organic, and helped to define what an organic tea farm means for many international organizations.

Rebecca and I stayed with a lovely family in their home. It was a simple home, with a seperate kitchen and bathroom and I believe about 3 bedrooms. Unlike homes in the US or really almost anywhere else, the  various parts of the house are not all under one roof, instead they're somewhat spread over a small area. Their daughter, Dipika, is twenty two and pursuing her masters in history right now at a college outside of Darjeeling. The father is a forest officer in Siliguri, and the mother works at the pharmacy for the tea gardens. I have only highly positive things to say abou them as they were incredibly welcoming and kind to Rebecca and myself. They were what would be described as lower middle class, I believe, and although they lived comfortably (the room was fully equipped, food was readily available and they had quite a few 'extras' such as TVs), it was clear that they were not exceedingly well off. Something we've learned to be very careful of in India is that people here will often give far beyond their means in a desperate desire to give as muh as possible, and frequently its up to you to draw the line and to refuse them. Frequently, this takes the form of refusing thirds on food because, quite simply, you're not sure if they're giving you all the food that they have and if they'll go somewhat hungry if you eat completly.

Additionally, living with them for four days made me realize something that I was already coming to realize; how unnecessary so many things (yes, material items) are. I am very fortunate in that I've never been in need of anything- I have plenty of clothes, food and 'extras'- and you don't realize how unnecessary it all can be. It's not so much that I plan on throwing away all of my earthly posessions when I return home, but more that buying additional isn't necessary. At this point, I've shipped the large majority of stuff I brought to India with me back to Delhi, and am officially completing the rest of the trip with one pair of jeans, one pair of yoga pants, one pair of loose pants, 5 tank tops, 2 long sleeves and 1 jacket, quite simply because I don't need all the other clothes. More importantly, it reiterated the idea that its not the material objects that matter in life, but the people that you have close to you and your family.

While at the tea gardens, we did a tour of the factory (very nice) and the gardens (also very nice) and interacted with quite a few of the workers who are truly incredible. They have started a lot of community projects based on the revenue that they make from the homestays (yes the whole $25/night per house stay goes straight back into the community) and the sale of tea in their shops. They are an incredibly energetic and vibrant community.

Also, Rajiv knows the owner of the tea gardens, Rajah, fairly well. We were able to do a tea tasting and tour with him which was INCREDIBLY interesting and very informative. He educated us about the importance of supporting women in the community as they are the root of change within a community (we all know this to be true) and the importance of organic farming. Later, we joined Rajah and his wife in their beautiful home to celebrate Rajiv's birthday. I had a very interesting conversation with Rajah's wife about her life and about various aspects of Indian culture. Her marriage was an arranged marriage and one of her sons asked her to find him an arranged marriage after becoming frustrated with dating and all that entails.

In the West, we have an incredibly taboo view of arranged marriage that I don't think is really fair at all. I've seen quite a few arranged marriages that have worked out incredibly well and I think the key is that they start with few expectations; in a marriage of love, when something goes wrong, people tend to blame each other, or eventually simply fall out of love and feel that their marriage isn't worth holding together without love. In an arranged marriage (and to be fair, I'm speaking in hypotheticals as I've never been in an arranged marriage...obviously), I think that the couple starts as strangers and, instead of being torn apart by something going wrong, tend to grow closer as their marriage progresses because they began with few expectations for it. And most importantly, in current Indian culture (in MOST places), it's no longer something that confines women as they usually have an option to back out of it or to say no.

All in all, we had an incredible visit to the tea gardens. After three nighs there, we left for Darjeeling, where we spent two days. Good lord, it was FREEZING cold. Which brings up another unfortuante situation- earlier I mentioned that I had shipped the majority of my stuff back to Delhi...that included all of my cold weather clothing, so I will be spending the next 8 days freezing my little butt off as this part of the world seems somewhat unaware of the wonders of insulation and central heating...eek. Anyways, Darjeeling was incredible and I only wish that we'd had more time to spend there and explore. It also didn't help that on our one exploration day I was sick again (seriously again?!) with another stomach bug that left me stuck in bed for most of the morning, so I missed out on seeing Rajiv's boarding school (which I was very excited about seeing actually) and seeing a little more of the town. But it was really beautiful. And now we are back in Kalimpong before we head to Bhutan for 8 days, then Kathmandu for a few days and then Alex, Claudia and I will begin our South Indian adventures!

As we were leaving Makabari, Rajah looked at each of us individually and asked us if we were hppy. There was a range in everyone's answers, but when it was my turn, I said with my California sunshiney smile, and a true heart, "Yes, always." Everyone laughed and Rajah said, "Oh always? That must be nice."

But the truth is, that I am always happy. Sure, I have moments of frustration and sometimes saddness, but who doesn't? And truly, those make the happier moments those much sweeter. And perhaps this will all be incredibly naive-sounding, but I am incredibly lucky because I think I am always happy and optimistic. Because, most importantly, I'm happy with my life and the person that I am and if you're happy with those two things, then nothing can really bother you for too long. I have an incredible family; parents who are my best friends and who have supported me in every major decision I've made thus far in life and who have allowed me to explore myself and the world to the fullest extent; brothers who I love more than I can express and who I trust and depend on; a boyfriend who asks no more than that I simply be myself and who trusts and loves me unconditionallly. I am blessed with grandparents, alive and dead, who are responsible for helping me to achieve so much that I have and who have supported me in the pursuit of all my dreams; aunts and uncles who love me and upon whom I know I can depend on for anthing; cousins who make a Skype call before a wedding a priority, who take the time to leave me loving notes on my Facebook. And friends. It's a running joke here that I refer to everyone as my best friend. But the truth is, that all of my friends mean that much to me that they cannot simply be a friend becaus they mean so much more to me and have influenced me so much more. I am blessed to have friends that give themselves to me fully and who know me better than I know myself.

So yes, it is nice to always be happy. Knock on wood that I'm not jinxing myself with this post and that some horrific calamity doesn't strike soon that makes me lose my belief in the goodness of people and life, but even if I am, in some ways I'm okay with that because being so in love with life and the goodness of the world is worth it, even for a minute.

Love always,
Sara